In my post Mountains of Holiday Décor, I mention that it gives me hope in humanity that although December is in many ways the saddest time of year (it's cold, there's fewer daylight hours, and there is a lack of work and money for many), society bands together to spread light, gifts, food, music, and joy. However, in the process of trying to spread all this joy... we also accumulate a lot of clutter and usually participate in thoughtless consumerism. In this post, I'll be addressing the clutter we give as gifts and what you can do this year to reduce it.
How to give less clutter:
Ever gotten a gift that you didn't need or want? Most of us have. The key to giving less clutter this year, is to figure out what your loved ones really want and need before purchasing anything, and if you can't figure it out, give clutter-proof gifts.
1. START PAYING ATTENTION TO THEIR LACKS AND LIKES
Figure out what they want and need by paying attention early. If you can, start taking note as early as late summer or early fall. Yes, this may seem a bit early for you December 24th shoppers, but if you want to get your loved ones things they can use and love for years to come, you have to start paying attention to their lacks and likes early. What are lacks and likes?
Lacks are things they need (aka lack). Maybe your daughter loves painting but is about out of paints, or your husband is into woodworking but keeps mentioning that his saw is dull. Pay attention to what they don't have or really need. And then instead of buying it right away or letting them get it themselves, put it on your Christmas shopping list. This may require some hinting or direct communication on your part so they don't get it themselves, this is especially relevant for significant others.
Likes are things they would enjoy (aka like) anytime, even if they already own a few. Maybe your mother is always lighting candles, or your sister often is reaching for the chocolate stash. If you can't find something they lack, you can figure out what they like and get them more of that. However be mindful to think about how much they already have. Try to pick a like that they don't have way too much of already.
PERSONALITY NOTE: Taking the time to pay attention to wants and needs first is especially important for certain people. Maybe your mom couldn't care less about gifts, but you have a child who really loves receiving gifts and would be hurt that you didn't notice they've been leaving big hints that they want a bicycle. Take purposeful effort to think about who in your life wants a thoughtful gift, and who doesn't care as much. Talking about the 5 Love Languages and/or Enneagram types with your family this time of year wouldn't be a bad idea.
Figuring out your closest loved ones' lacks and likes can be tricky, but is not usually too hard. However, there is almost guaranteed going to be someone on your list who you can't figure out a lack or like. More distant relatives who you only call or visit a few times a year can be especially tough. Or maybe you've got a tough teenager or significant other that is hard to read. The next steps are for those people in your life.
2. GET THEIR WISHLIST
Can't figure out something they lack or like? Just ask them! There is no shame in asking anyone on your list what they want this year. This can also open up the conversation about how they like to receive gifts. They may let you know outright that they don't want anything or that they could just use some cash since they're finances are tight. Many people at this time of year (probably including you) already have a list going, at least in their head, and are happy to know that someone is planning to get them something.
If you ask someone what they want and they tell you, make sure to take that seriously. If someone says they don't want anything because they are trying to reduce clutter, don't buy them that cute mug that reminded you of them anyway. Maybe cash or a practical gift card if you really want to get them something, otherwise, respect their wishes. THAT in itself IS a gift.
PERSONALITY NOTE: If someone is a very practical person and if gifts is low out of their 5 love languages, then asking them what they want instead of surprising them may be the best gift of all. If they find quality time important, take them shopping with you a few days after Christmas and buy them something they pick out. They get what they want and you don't have to stress. WIN WIN! This also tends to be true for Enneagram type 8's. However this type doesn't like you to make assumptions either. Just ask them if they want a surprise gift or something off their list, they'll let you know!
3. CLUTTER PROOF GIFTS: GIFT CARD OR CASH
If you tried to think about what they lack and like, asked them what they want, and you still don't know what to get them, a gift card or cash is the next best low-clutter gift. But which do you choose?
Gift cards are more personal and interesting than cash. It's important to remember that a gift card forces them to spend the money at that location rather than just putting it toward bills or necessities. Gift cards are great for young kids that can't go shopping on their own (forces their parents to take them shopping or let them pick out something online). This is also a good idea if you know a place they would be excited to use it. For example maybe you gift your parents a gift card to an expensive restaurant you know they'd enjoy on date night. Gift cards are a good idea if you want to gift them the experience of shopping or an actual experience. But if you don't know much about their likes, than cash may be a better option. You don't want them to feel like they have to go shopping somewhere that they don't want to.
Cash is a less controlling and less stressful gift. If someone is struggling financially, a gift card to really expensive place will not be happily received. Don't make them get themselves some Starbucks or Sephora when they are stressing about their next credit card payment. They have big needs that out way any desires they may have had before. If you don't want to tie someone down to shopping a specific place, then cash is the way to go.
4. ADD CONSUMABLES FOR A YUMMY FINAL TOUCH
If you elect to give someone a gift card or some cash but feel bad and still wish you could get them something more, rather than going out on Christmas Eve to get them whatever cute thing (aka clutter) catches your eye, get them something consumable. Get them some fancy holiday candy, nuts, or dried fruit. Even if they don't like what you pick out, they probably know/live with someone else who does, and they'll still appreciate the thought. Or you can go the extra mile and bake them cookies, find some high quality local fruit, or pitch in for Christmas dinner so they can cook less this year. Who can feel unloved with a gift like that?
PERSONALITY NOTE: If someone is really gifts person and you only get them a gift card or cash, they may feel a bit of a let down, so adding a thoughtful consumable gift (not just candy from the grocery store) will definitely make a big difference.
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So there you have it. 4 things to consider this holiday season to give clutter-free gifts.
Let me know in the comments below how you feel about gifts? Super important to you? Dislike gifting? Like people to ask what you want? Love surprises? I want to know!
I find it most meaningful when my loved ones figure out what I need or want on their own without having to ask me. But I also feel disappointed and weighed down if gifted something I don't want or need. So if you're a family or friend of mine (or a raving fan), if you know what I want or need, great! If you don't know, please ask! Or you can get me a gift card to Package Free (for the planet!), Hobby Lobby (cute stickers and décor, duh), the Container Store (need I say more?), Marshalls (so fun!), or Walmart (groceries am I right?).
Thanks for reading!
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