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Writer's pictureElena Harris
Jun 20, 20238 min read

The 6 Emotional Stages of Decluttering

Updated: Apr 30

You may have heard of the 5 stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. In my work helping people declutter and organize their homes, I've discovered* that there are similar emotional stages that can occur when going through the decluttering process.


Just like the 5 stages of grief, you don't have to go through these stages in order and you may not experience all of them. Some stages may take a couple days or weeks, while others you may get stuck in for years.


The point of this is not to put yourself or someone you know in a box or make yourself feel bad because you have been stuck in a certain stage. My hope is that this will prompt you to think about where you are emotionally, move past difficult feelings and unhelpful beliefs (with patience and self love), and take charge of your life and clutter. You can make your house into the home it was meant to be!


So, here are the six emotional stages of decluttering (the first three are negative and the second three are positive):


1. Denial

Before decluttering, many people may be in denial about the state of their home. They experience the same negative effects as others buried in clutter (overbuying, loosing things, struggling to relax at home, and inability to organize or keep things clean) but they deny that their clutter is a problem. Either they don't think these issues are a result of their clutter, or they are (consciously or subconsciously) ignoring the issue due to stress in other areas of their life.


This can also manifest as an over focus on cleanliness (moving things around to clean but not getting rid of anything), organization (finding everything a home and buying lots of storage containers but not getting rid of anything), or finances (saving everything "just in case" because you don't feel you can afford to buy or replace anything).


To transition from denial into any of the other stages, you must acknowledge that your clutter is a problem. You may go from denial to bargaining/excuses, or you may go straight to depression or flash of hope.


Here are a few resources from my blog that can help you get past the denial stage:

2. Excuses

Once someone knows their clutter is a problem, they may not begin to deal with the clutter due to a perceived lack of time, money, or ability to do anything about it. Or they may begin to work on it in short stints, but then quickly give up due to those same excuses.


In order to move past this emotional stage, you must take ownership of your clutter problem. You have to accept that this IS something you can change. You may also need to find creative ways to carve out more time for decluttering and/or tools to help you know where to start and stick to it.


Here are a few resources from my blog that can help you get past your excuses:

3. Depression

At this stage, people feel completely buried by their clutter, used to it, and have given up on ever getting out of it.


This can happen while actively decluttering or while not working on it at all. Either way, you feel as though decluttering is pointless and you can't see ever getting out from under it.


If you feel stuck in your clutter with no way out, start giving your mind gentle, positive encouragement. Try picking up a decluttering book and seeing what interests or excites you; Follow a few declutter coaches or professional organizers on social media who's content makes you feel a little bit of hope or motivation; and/or reach out to a kindred spirit you know asking for their encouragement or advice in this area.


~ I've heard the term, "clutter blindness" which can manifest in the depression stage (or possibly the denial stage). Clutter blindness means you stop seeing your clutter, not literally (your eyesight hasn't changed), but your brain tunes out all visual clutter to focus on other things. Clutter blindness is a self-defense mechanism to help you survive (emotionally and to get through the vital tasks of the every day). This doesn't mean your clutter isn't still causing you emotional stress, but it can mean that you start to suppress clutter caused stress into your body (aka aches, pain, and even sickness) and your subconscious (upset without knowing why).* ~


Here are a few resources from my blog that can help you get past depression in relation to your clutter:

  • Books for a Better You - Pick up a new book and see what motivation or inspiration you can find there (I'd recommend The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, Essential, or Do it Scared to start).

  • Advice for those Buried - If you feel that you don't have the tools to get out from your clutter, these tactics should help you make progress in your home.

  • 50 Affirmations For Cluttered People - Speak more honestly and kindly to yourself.

  • The Power of Accountability - If you want to make more progress faster and more enjoyable (even fun)... do it with someone else.


4. Flash of Hope

Once someone moves past denial, excuses, and/or depression the first positive emotion they are likely to feel is a flash of hope.


This hope can be sparked by reading an inspiring book, watching someone else's transformation (on TV, online, or in person), being hit by a tsunami size wave of internal motivation, getting so fed up that you make the absolute decision to create change, or receiving some kind of outside help from a friend, family member, or coach.


However it comes to you, this flash of hope will make you feel that you can absolutely tackle your clutter and you are going to do it!


This flash of hope can easily fade unfortunately. Unless you begin to implement a strategic plan or get some reliable accountability, your hope can slide into depression or excuses again.


Here are a few resources from my blog that can help you move past a flash of hope into acceptance:

  • It's a Journey - This decluttering thing is going to take a while, and that's not only alright, it's probably a good thing.

  • Step-by-Step: How to Make Your Custom Annual Decluttering Plan - Make yourself a realistic plan. And as a result, see your expectations relax, your goals completed (in due time), and your hope last.

  • Love Yourself - It's easy to get carried away decluttering when you feel a flash of hope. But don't forget to focus on self-care first. The better you feel, the better and longer you'll be able to declutter.

5. Acceptance

At this stage, people feel a sense of acceptance about the clutter in their lives. Although it may not be where they want it to be, they are working consistently at their clutter in sustainable ways that work for their goals, mental health, and those they live with.


Acceptance is the final destination emotionally. Although you might not feel complete peace about your home yet, you should feel a strong sense of inner peace. You are no longer are wallowing in excuses or hopelessness. And you no longer think this is going to be a quick purge followed by perfect, organized bliss. You know this is going to take a lot of work, consistency, patience with yourself, and (most likely) lots of help from others.


Once you've made it this far, the only thing left is to make your environment match your inner world. But don't rush it. You are exactly where you are meant to be at this moment.


Here are a few resources from my blog that can help you move from acceptance to having true peace in your home (aka here are some big game changers to help you conquer the clutter now that your mental blocks are out of the way!):

6. Peace

At this final stage people should feel at peace, not only within themselves, but from their decluttered environment as well. Their home makes them feel safe, comfortable, and able to relax.


Enjoy this stage of peace if you are in it. You've made it! Congratulations!!!


However, once you reach this stage you may not stay here forever. A big life change such as illness, financial struggles, having a baby, moving into a smaller home, divorce, or a parent moving in or passing away can quickly increase the amount of belongings in your home. Also simply the passing of time can cause a slow build up of clutter that can take you back to the beginning stages of either denial or excuses which if ignored long enough, can bring you back to depression. This therefore, causing you to need to fully sort, declutter, and organize your home again.


I'm telling you this not to make you feel stressed or hopeless, but rather to remind you that decluttering is a life long journey. As we change, our needs and possessions will as well. However, if you've gotten through these stages once, the second time should be less difficult and quicker to deal with both the clutter AND the emotional baggage.


Here are a few resources from my blog that can help you stay at peace in your home:

Here is the short version of The 6 Emotional Stages of Decluttering:

  1. Denial - "I am so stressed all the time but don't know what to do about it."

  2. Excuses - "If I only had more time (or money) I'd be able to deal with this stuff." OR "I can't do this on my own and there is no one to help me."

  3. Depression - "I've been buried in clutter so long, it's just how I live I guess."

  4. Flash of Hope - "I can get out of this clutter! I know it!"

  5. Acceptance - "Decluttering is a life long journey. I know I can get through this, but I also know it will take time and hard work."

  6. Peace - "I feel a sense of calm in my home. I know where things go. I know and like what I have. And, I know what to do with new items as they come in."


Let me know in the comments what stage you think you're in and why.


*I have not done research on these emotional stages of decluttering and am not a therapist or psychologist. Please talk to a medical or mental health professional if you are struggling with your mental health, grief, depression, or think you may have hoarding disorder. This is meant to help you think through your own emotions toward your clutter, not to diagnose or treat any mental illness.


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